THE PROFOUND DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND WOLVES IS THAT DOGS, EVOLUTIONARY SPEAKING, CHOOSE TO LIVE WITH HUMANS. THEY ARE SOCIALLY A DIFFERENT SPECIES!

Go from dogs to alpha wolf and child replacement and find out WHY those two relationships lead to problems and leave both parties dissatisfied.


Canines lived with and around humans since at least 14.000 years. That made them socially different from wolves. There are also anatomical and behavioral differences, but they are less relevant for our purpose here. The most profound aspect is that: DOGS ARE GENETICALLY HARDWIRED TO BE LEAD BY HUMANS.

They have an intrinsic need to live with and close to people. Even the not owned, feral and stray ones prefer to forage on human waste and garbage to killing prey for food.

Humans, too made the choice to live with that other social and sentient species. Their loyalty, work abilities, and the fact that they, although alike us in many ways, lack many of the human vices, make them perfect companions. The physical and mental rewards people get from living with a pooch are well documented. Intuitively our ancestors knew what science is able to measure today.


The choice of two different species to live so closely together, to share a life and many activities, is mutual and unique. The rewards should also be mutual. The person gains unfailing companionship and a subservient partner who can be taught to help with many tasks. The dog should in return have adequate water and food - in quantiity and quality, and, most importantly, social belonging. Those are the reasons why wild canines originally hitched up with us. If that happens everyone is happy and content. The relationship works.

Sadly, for both parties, that is not always the case and the relationship is overshadowed by problems. Even though the person is in love with the pup - and he feels bonded, day-to-day interactions are laced with disobedience, destruction, nuisance behaviors or aggression. The social role of the dog has changed. Before, most were working partners or simply hung around humans. Reliable behaviors were either trained by a knowledgeable owner, or didn't matter that much with fewer pooches and lots of space. In urban and suburban settings, with many people and dogs crowding less space, with contradicting training advice, and with less time people have for their mutts, living in an interspecies social group presents new challenges.


Fortunately, the fact also is, that with the right approach, this can be changed.The primary need a modern canine familiaris has, is to be guided. In a good relationship the owner is aware of that and uses it to his/her advantage.

A pup who lives with humans has no choice but to learn from them what is expected, so that he can comply and will be able to socially belong. It is essential for their survival as a species. Nowadays, dogs that don't fit in, are euthanized - as it was in the olden days. Except, now we care - and want to save the mutt we call our own.

To understand the hardwired need for guidance is the key to a rewarding relationship. Problems arise when that need is not understood, as in the child replacement relationship or the pooch is bullied, as in the alpha wolf, dominance training, theory.


Easy enough, right?

Wrong! The pooch has to be lead in a way that makes sense to him. Let's not forget that dogs and humans speak a different language. There is a natural communication gap. (I use the term "language" loosely. Scientists still argue if non-human mammals have true language. My opinionated take is that dogs communicate excellently with each other, people and the environment. I call that language.)

The communication gap is unique in nature - pooches and people are the only two species living together where miscommunication profoundly impacts the success of the relationship. The only mixed species social group where communicating effectively has to be learned. Since we boast with being the brainiest mammal, it is up to us to close the communication gap. It is our responsibilty.

The domesticated canine knows that humans are a different species, not another, rather strange mutt. They have lived with us for at least 14.000 years. They observed us for that long. They instinctively also know that we have control over them. Being able to read humans intentions, posturings, tone intonations made them predictable. Figuring out what pleases them made food happen. "Getting humans" is part of their evolutionary development and genetic make-up.

But they come with a willingness to learn. A need to trust. As soon as we teach them in a non-intimidating and non-confusing way, our canine friend will begin to pay attention to us. The first and critical step to a future amazing and mutually rewarding relationship. One where your pooch is aware of your needs, connects voluntarily, offers attention and asks for your guidance in conflict situations. She seeks closeness without being pushy, has learned not to do things you find unacceptable, is a loyal companion and works for you reliably. Physical control is rarely needed.

Sounds like Disney? It needn't be make-believe. You can have that - if you learn how to meet your dog's needs, and teach him in a way he can understand. If you are a reliable and mindful leader.



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